Looking back....

It is always interesting to look back at your childhood and earlier years after you have been diagnosed with OCD. You realize that there is several other times in your life when you could have been diagnosed had you or someone close to you recognized the symptoms. I am not writing this to say that I am regretting my past or saying that I wish that I would have been diagnosed earlier. I am simply writing this entry as a reminder to myself that I have come so far. OCD is a part of me and has made me who I am. I would never want to take back any part of my life, because it has made me stronger. But anyways... I remember when I was in 2nd grade my teacher told us that it was very important to get 8 hours of a sleep a night. She told us that getting the proper sleep would help do better in school which would help us throughout our life. She went on to say that doing better in school would help get into great colleges and have a successful career. Normal conversation right?? OH NO... not for an OCD kid. I took that comment to a whole other level. I immediately went home and told my mom, "I HAVE to get 8 WHOLE hours of sleep Mom. Mrs. Smith said that if I don't I will never get into college or have a job!!!" My mom laughed it off, but little did she know that this minor comment from my teacher would shape the way I lived for YEARS! Immediately starting that night I would rush to bed by 9pm just to make sure that I had enough time to fall asleep and get 8 hours of REAL sleep. Well.... What happens when you go to bed with the intention of making yourself fall asleep or it will affect your entire future?? You cannot sleep. I started to force myself to be in bed by 8:30pm. If we were out running errands with the family, I would start to panic. "Mom, we have to get home. I have to get to bed!!" I remember feeling like I would die if I did not get into bed and relaxed by 8:30pm. I would lay there for an hour or two panicking because I could not fall asleep. I would run into my parents room crying, " Mom, I can't fall asleep. What am I going to do? I am going to do horrible in school tomorrow." My mom would try to calm me down and tell me to just relax, but I couldn't. Eventually every night I would fall asleep by 10 or 11 and would do perfectly fine in school, but every few nights it was the same story over and over.  Looking back... this is definitely an obsession. Having to get a certain amount of sleep or thinking your life is cursed and ruined is OCD... HELLO??  It is too bad that OCD was not as widely recognized back in the 90's. It is really funny when I think about it now. I have turned out to be a 3.8 GPA college student with an awesome career. Not getting sleep didn't stop me at all. I lived and eventually grew out of this obsession. Has anyone out there ever looked back and realized that one of your childhood quirks was actually an obsession or compulsion??